You can plan all you want for a life in retirement, but the change still comes with a sudden force that you won’t be ready for. If you’ve spent over twenty years in Corporate America like I did, you get grooved in hard to a certain lifestyle. After all, someone or some organization thought you were useful enough to deserve a paycheck.

In addition to that paycheck, you get instant camaraderie, with colleagues you generally enjoy connecting with each day in the break room, or during the typical conference call. The “hard groove” also comes with built-in mentors and surrogate parental figures called “managers”.

Just like not all parents are amazing, not all managers are wonderful either. Cubicle life can be unpredictable. While you’re stuck in it, make the best of it and own it, but always look ahead to when you can achieve financial independence and leave that hamster wheel behind. Don’t settle for being a corporate huckleberry longer than you absolutely need to.

 

If You’re Unprepared to Retire…

The problem is that you have all of these employment-at-will dynamics – many of which can be toxic, limiting, or boring, but they’re still consuming a big chunk of your life. Take it all away, and you’re left with a big gap of time to fill from Monday to Friday, for 45 hours, or roughly 50% of your waking life.

A few weeks into retirement and even yours truly started to romanticize the warts I’d left behind. And I had a PLAN for Pete’s sake!

I figured that the real estate licensing process and a transition to full-time REALTOR would provide all the tonic I needed to put the past into the past and move on. Do I regret resigning? Hardly. Do I still have work to do to establish a brand new set of grooves, including a new network of colleagues/friends and associates? Absolutely.

 

The Art of Being Useful

Believing in the theory of Blue Zones living, I put a good deal of stock into the notion that one should “never retire”. A great example I’d written about years back is Jiro Ono, now age 98 and still slinging world-class sushi.

Does a contented life of good health and longevity depend on one working until he or she drops dead at 90, 100, or older? If that’s the case, I am 100% certain of my decision to resign from my Fortune 50 goliath, seeing as it employed practically zero octogenarians.

I’d have been dropped like a hot rock at some point in my 60s as many around me were (through layoffs or forced retirements) before I left. Unless you happen to be in a class with Rupert Murdoch, ditch the notion of corporate work beyond your 60s.

Leaving a paycheck, managers-by-carousel, silly meetings, and other corporate nonsense behind won’t kill you. But if you leave a job where you sit on your duff all day only to wind up sitting on your duff all day and subsequently doing nothing to improve yourself or serve others, then it’s game over.

Instead of the notion that one should never retire, how about a more flexible idea that one should never stop being useful?

If, like Jiro, you find yourself employed on your terms, being useful, and true to yourself and your values, a lifetime of meaningful work (e.g., being useful) is a healthy thing. But you won’t be 98 and working for the man – you’ll be working for yourself.

 

A Challenge to Be More Useful

The Arnold Schwarzenegger docuseries on Netflix inspired the crux of this post. Arnold is pushing 80 but refuses to slow down. His words, spoken with trademark accent: “Be useful”.

It’s a series worth watching for anyone needing motivation to reach audacious goals while making wholesale changes in his or her choice of profession. The Terminator jumped grooves easily, building success as a bodybuilder, then as an actor, and finally as governor of California.

Arnold’s mantra is to always keep moving forward, never dwelling on failures or tribulations. Learn from mistakes, and as Ted Lasso would say, “Be a goldfish!”

It’s impressive and a little sad at the same time how again and again we learn that the highest achievers came from troubled and abusive upbringings. Arnold was no exception. But unlike many of his generation, he didn’t and doesn’t dwell on being a victim. Instead, he viewed and continues to view the world through a lens of opportunity and optimism.

For me, the challenge to be useful post-retirement* starts with a complete career makeover. It’s a career defined by my terms, not by used car salesmen pretending to run a major company. I am my own boss now.

Real estate (property management, investing, and sales) is work that I enjoy and I can throw myself into it with passion. I have paid my dues to achieve financial independence, which affords me the flexibility to prioritize family time (and ME time).

 

Being Useful In the Service of Others

As a family, we are dedicating more of our free time to serving others. Volunteer work is a wonderful thing, but it’s even better when you can give your time and energy together. Not only is it character-building for the kids, but it’s a tangible benefit to the community and your mental health.

In the real estate realm, I’m now able to give more of my time, energy, and focus to my tenants and the very old homes they rent from me. This year I invested more cash (over $28,000…OUCH) and time to improve and repair a variety of issues that I’ll anecdotalize in a future post.

 

Being Useful In the Service of Myself

I have a lot of work to do still. Those deep grooves from the old corp gig will take a little more time to climb out of, but I’m wearing them down. I can be an even better husband and father, son, brother, neighbor, and friend.

If I use this newfound freedom to improve as a person, then I’m optimistic I can avoid any pesky regrets down the road.

That includes spending more time exercising, learning, reading, and *gasp!* writing. If I can commingle growth with building a community of friends and acquaintances, then I’ll know I’m hitting the mark. For starters, I joined a pickleball league with my wife. Woot!

I’ve got a long list of home improvement tasks to tackle as well. Working with your hands on household projects is a passion of mine, and I’m pretty sure I’ll get more into gardening as time rolls on.

Am I bored? Some days, honestly, yes. Retirement boredom is that little devil that can creep up on you at any moment, especially M-F 9 to 5 when we’ve all been programed for student or worker productivity.

Starting out in real estate as a REALTOR is tough. The real estate market is slower than molasses with mortgage interest rates persisting north of 7%. Demand has softened, but supply remains limited. Grrr…

But you know what? I am using this lull in the market to educate myself, exercise, and network. No video games. No movies. No sleeping in past 7 am.

Bottom line: I am incredibly content with my choice of at-will WORK.

 

*Retirement is defined in this blog as leaving an at-will employment job (i.e., work where you can get fired for any reason). One can still retire and continue to work, whether it’s volunteering, part-time hourly to supplement social security, child or family care, or even owning a small business, gardening, or heck, even writing a blog!

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Everyone knows there are certain subjects you just don’t bring up in conversation, whether it’s religion, politics, or marital conflicts. But if there’s one thing Americans can agree on, it’s that money is the most taboo topic of all. Asking about salary or diving into details about debt is just not a casual conversation anyone wants to be a part of.

While there is a time and a place for everything, does the same always apply to money? Which financial questions are appropriate to ask, and who are people most comfortable talking money with? We surveyed over 980 employed people who currently owned or rented their homes to get a better idea about the boundaries of financial discussions. It’s time to talk about money—read on to see what people had to say.

What can you ask?

Talking about money is obviously tricky, but not talking about money can also have repercussions—to our health, wealth, and happiness. There are some questions, though, that people should steer clear of, at least according to our respondents. Asking how much money someone has in his or her savings account was perceived as the most inappropriate (92 percent), along with asking about salary (83.5 percent). Meanwhile, around half of respondents thought it was inappropriate to ask about the amount paid for a child’s schooling.

Even when it comes to discussing finances with a significant other, 56.6 percent of people said it strained their relationship. Not only is money a leading cause of stress in relationships, but it’s also one of the most cited reasons behind divorce. While asking about salary and credit card debt may be necessary when cohabiting, starting a family, or thinking about marriage, it might be better to stick with easier financial questions at the beginning of a relationship.

On the other hand, the majority of respondents said asking about the cost of food, clothing, or renovations didn’t cross the line. However, when it came to asking how much someone paid for their car or how much they spent on rent, people were nearly split. While 54.6 percent of people thought asking about the price of a car was appropriate, 52.6 percent said the same about rent.

Dealing with your landlord

Of course, what you ask often depends on whom you’re asking. The relationship between renter and landlord may heavily revolve around money, but asking if you have to pay your rent on time is a conversation most landlords don’t want to have. On the other hand, asking to lower the rent might be a little bit more acceptable. While 40.6 percent of landlords said the most inappropriate question a tenant could ask was about paying the rent on time, 30.9 percent said asking to lower the rent was also inappropriate.

Asking to lower the rent may seem like a typical negotiation tactic, but nearly 60 percent of landlords said they were unlikely to rent to a potential tenant who asked about dropping the price. And considering roughly half of landlords believed it was inappropriate to haggle move-in fees or security deposits, it may be more beneficial to ask about paying in installments—only 9.2 percent of landlords thought that question was inappropriate, and playing it safe may boost the chances of landing a lease.

Asking in the workplace

It’s no secret that your salary is supposed to be, well, a secret. Discussing money with co-workers can be awkward, especially if there is a large discrepancy in paychecks. However, despite some companies prohibiting it, discussing salaries with co-workers can actually make employees happier as well as improve the bottom line. Nevertheless, nearly 56 percent of people thought it was inappropriate to ask how much a co-worker makes, with women almost twice as likely as men to be very uncomfortable discussing their salary with co-workers.

Even when salary was brought up, over one-third of employees admitted to lying about how much they brought home, while 22 percent said it was against company policy to discuss. Seeing as money is a hush-hush topic, many people aren’t aware that pay secrecy policies—whether mandated or insinuated—are against labor laws.

But regardless of pressure from higher-ups, employees still don’t want to talk about money. While 71.3 percent of men said co-workers should not tell one another their wages, 80 percent of women said the same. Of course, this difference is likely due to the gender pay gap that still persists. Women may be more uncomfortable talking about money since they typically make less than their male counterparts, but pay transparency is the only way to truly know how large the gap is and take steps toward closing it.

Responding to financial questions

When faced with an uncomfortable financial question, people are typically faced with two options: Answer honestly, or avoid it entirely. But which route they take seems to depend on their gender, age, and the person asking. Slightly over half of men said they answer questions about their finances, while nearly 60 percent of women said they divert the conversation.

As for age, millennials seemed to be the most comfortable with money talk—even if the subject is broached on a first date. While baby boomers, Gen Xers, and millennials all said they would answer financial questions if a family member asked, millennials were the only generation to answer financial questions posed by both friends and co-workers. Over 34 percent of Gen Xers said they would answer a friend’s questions about money, but when asked by a co-worker, just under 36 percent said they would divert the conversation.

The oldest generation we asked, on the other hand, seemed to be a bit more traditional when responding to financial questions. Thirty-eight percent of baby boomers said they would tell a friend they were uncomfortable talking about finances, while 36.5 percent would say the same to a co-worker.

The right kind of money talk

Broaching the subject of money is never easy, but it’s crucial to ask the right questions. Instead of asking a landlord to lower the rent, you’re better off asking about payment plans or even finding a location better suited to your budget. As for discussing finances with co-workers or friends, gauge the relationship first. While it might be best to squash the salary talk with a new hire or a co-worker you consider an acquaintance, someone who is more involved in your personal life will likely be more receptive to the discussion.

Regardless of the relationship, though, most people are keen on hearing about a good deal. Considering home renovations were perceived as an appropriate financial topic, it can’t hurt to tell your friends, family, or co-workers how much you saved on home improvements. At Porch, our goal is to help you find the best professional for the job while giving you a deal worth talking about. We’re your pro for everyday home projects. To learn more, visit us online today.

Methodology and limitations

To collect the data shown above, we conducted a survey of 982 respondents. To qualify for this survey, respondents were required to own or rent their home and be employed. Of the 982 respondents, 217 were landlords. The respondent pool was 51.9 percent female, 48 percent male, and less than 1 percent who chose a different option. 324 were baby boomers, born between 1946 and 1964; 330 were Gen Xers, born between 1965 and 1980; and 328 were millennials, born between 1981 and 1997. Because the survey relies on self-reporting, issues such as telescoping and exaggeration can influence responses. An attention-check question was included in the survey to make sure respondents did not randomly answer.

Fair use statement

Talking about money is clearly controversial, but sometimes, it’s necessary. Before broaching the subject, it’s vital to know what is and isn’t appropriate. Feel free to share our findings with your friends or followers. The graphics and content found here are available for noncommercial reuse. All we ask if that you link back to this page so that readers can get all the information and contributors receive proper credit.

Originally posted on Porch.com

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